Hopelessly In Love?

Last night was harmful to me, and not because of my Mentor.

No, it was harmful in being hopeless.

It was harmful in being lost.

It was harmful in feeling lonely, like noone understands me; and that the knowing of one person who does may be taken away from me at any given moment.

I once tried to forget about them.

To derive myself of the feelings I had, and the connection when there is none.

A connection cannot be made if its one short line that cuts off into an abyss of the unknown.

But I feel a little more hopeful than I had before.

If my Mentor was able to get attention from someone who was bigger than life to them, then why can't I?

When i'm alone my mind hurts me.

It thinks negatively about everything.

It makes me know that I hate my body,

that I hate myself,

that I hate that I hurt people unintentionally,

or so they'll be safe from getting hurt from me further.

I can't say that I love myself, but I know I deserve better.

I deserve to have a loving person who will reassure me daily until I know I am beautiful.

I deserve to be happy, and to be cheered up when I'm sad.

I deserve to not feel alone, or bullied anymore.

I deserve to be able to stand on my own two feet.

I deserve to be able to be financially and emotional secure.