;Not a good day

I'm tired of ripping people apart.

It's so difficult for my mother to have relationships because of me.

I wish I wasn't scared of standing on my own two feet; but I am.

I wish I wasn't scared of leaving home; but I am.

I wish I wasn't afraid to be away at college; but I am.

I'm scared.

I'm scared of moving, i'm afraid of change. 

But, I know I need it.

It's time for a major change.

I need to go away to college, perhaps find a psychologist there.

At the age of 26 i'll loose my insurance.

These are things I don't get a choice on.

I don't have control over these areas of my life.

But I need to find my rhythm in life.

Go for what I'm good at, not for anything i'm not.

If writing and such/book writing isn't all I believe it is then i'll have to change colleges on my own; take on a massive debt.

But we all die with debt don't we?

And I don't want any regrets.

I already have some; and I can't go back on them.

I have to walk what i've made.