; ♪ and I don't want it to end, but I know it will ♫

Tears,

Tears,

Go away,

don't come back,

another day.

I thought I was okay again; I'm doing better!!

:But then I started thinking:

I stressed-relieved myself, and then I felt ashamed.

But not because I did it,

no,

because of who I was thinking of.

I was thinking of 

him.

And I shouldn't think of him!

He's not mine!

He's not even on the market!

But he's so kind to me.

When I have trouble finding people who won't hurt me.

People tell me things and they lie; and it hurts.

I don't even know what i'm doing dating.

I don't know how to treat it.

It makes me kind of sick.

and I started thinking further;

what am I?

who am I?

I don't feel my age, I don't look my age.

What's gonna happen when Markiplier and JackSepticEye no longer record youtube videos?

Am I ever gonna see them again?

I have a burrito sitting beside me getting cold and i'm debating whether to eat it or just let it go to waste.

I'm still disgusted with myself. 

This stomach is ugly, these arms are ugly... my fat fucking face is ugly.

I act confident on the outside because i'm trying to attract someone..

But I just want someone who'll cook for me, someone who loves cats and dogs, someone who wants to live California so we could possibly meet the Grumps and maybe even Mark in a non-stalker way, vacay in Japan and see the sites and buy me a kimono and eat rice balls and sushi with me, someone whose on the same level, someone who understands me but doesn't say it outloud all the time, someone whose into the things I want to do and will totally back me but also have a job and can help me achieve my goals aswell as their own.

I only know one good thing about me; and most people don't notice them.

My Eyes. 

I think maybe...

I should wait for someone who looks into my eyes...

and sees not just them, but my soul,

and who I can be some day.