I'd do anything for love

Even deny myself happiness.

I have never had a nightmare like that before.

Actually, I wouldn't call it a nightmare, more like a dream that turned dark.

And;; I haven't had Mark invade my dreams in a long while.

I thought I was over him.

I thought my feelings had stopped.

It's just like with my boss.

I can't choose who to stop having feelings for apparently.

I'm crying as I write this because I felt my heart just get ripped in two when I was taken away from the hotel room where I was cleaning all of my stuff up, I not only left some of my personal items behind but Mark as well. 

During the course of my dream, me and him got to know each other, even while he had a girlfriend.

The first time I met him we just talked like friends/fan-to-fan over.

The second time he let me get closer, even while he had a gf.

Now, in this dream, I couldn't really tell if I was male or female.

The third time he let me hang out with him, he was playing a game and asked if I wanted to sit on his lap and yeah obviously, it wasn't sexual, he was playing a game and wanted me to play too and I just leaned my head on his shoulder, and.. then..

I had to leave for a bit to clean out the rest of my hotel room because of time restraints but then I pack some of the stuff and put some food that needed to be made into the kitchen's oven then suddenly mom pulls up, I put some of my stuff in her car then she like.. I dunno, pushes me against something and forces me to leave without everything or even saying goodbye to mark..

I just...

why?

I haven't been having good dreams lately.

They're hurting me.