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America's Last Year

I voted Bernie.

I voted Hillary.

The electoral college voted Trump.

Riots are out right now, breaking the silence.

We the people didn't vote for Cheeto-Hitler.

Hate has won.

Just like it won with Hitler's regime.

God save the women, the LGBT community, the youth, the other races.

As for me, I will never go back in the closet.

I'm proud of who I am.

I am a man. I was never a woman. I was never a girl. I've always been this way.

This is me.

It's how I feel.

Ever since my name, Matt was said by my family and a few others I've felt happy.

My depression has lessened.

I'm heading up the hill, from the downslope; I'll get there someday.

Addressing me

I've been on the better side of the scale but I keep feeling like depression is creeping right up behind me, and I want to scream and run away from it.

I'm trying.

I'm trying so hard to fight my thoughts.

I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of depression and I... I want it to leave.

But I'm hurting and.. my eyes are tearing up.

I can't keep eating pasta, and bread and all these carbohydrates! 

But it's all we can afford. 

I hate it!

And I was so happy when Matt became my name.

But it's not enough.

I can't stand being called Amanda at work, and she, and her.

My binders too big. I need a smaller one, but they cost so much.

I'm not a girl damn it!

I hate my ovaries!

I hate my breasts!

I hate my uterus!

They are ugly, horrendous things that need to go.