There's a part of me...
That I absolutely hate to speak about.
The reason I hate to talk about it is because of how sinful in nature it is.
I mean. It's like I'm a Nephalem.
Part angel, part demon.
My anger/rage/hatred/wrath/lust would be the demon.
My kindness/compassion/protection/empathy/love would be the angel.
It's a battle.
And it's on 24/7.
Sometimes it's so much easier to give into the darkness of the demon.
Due to the fact that a lot of my memory is attached to pain spikes, and I've passed out from the pain receptors in my brain being over stimulated I really prefer pleasure, anytime I can get it.
Probably a bad addiction to have, honestly but when your fighting with your body daily to weekly it can get unnerving to the point you go running for a relief.
Stress makes me panic and shaky.
Stress can be obliterated by a relief.
My relief is either laughter or pleasure.
I can't always have laughter, but I can treat myself right with pleasure.
If I don't have any of my relievers and my emotions become so painful that it can't go any further then I start to use my knife and make marks on my skin; that is not a good way to relieve my problems.
